growing old

Funny Things All Ages Learn in Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

~  No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
~  When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
~  If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second
person.
~  Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
~  You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
~  Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
~  Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
~  You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
~  Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
~  The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

~  Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
~  Wrinkles don’t hurt.
~  Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
~  Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
~  Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
~  Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

~  Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~  Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
~  When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down
there.
~  You get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a
roller coaster.
~  It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
~  Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
~  Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

From http://www.mikeysfunnies.com